Chapter 20
We loaded the back of the SUV with large boxes,
filled to the brim with fresh,
and wonderfully fragrant loaves of baked bread,
and we drove slowly toward the downtown shelter.
The streets were gray,
and covered in dirty slush from the recent snow,
and the line of people outside the shelter doors,
wrapped completely around the brick building,
a miserable collection of shivering,
and desperate souls.
I parked the car in the secure alleyway,
and we carried the heavy boxes inside,
entering a chaotic,
and incredibly noisy room,
filled with folding tables,
and the strong smell of cheap soup.
The shelter director welcomed us warmly,
directing us to the busy serving line,
where Diane immediately put on a plastic apron,
and a pair of serving gloves,
her face glowing with pure,
and genuine kindness.
I took the station right next to her,
handing out the slices of thick bread,
while my eyes constantly scanned the long line,
searching every single dirty,
and tired face that passed by.
The first hour went smoothly without incident,
just an endless stream of grateful strangers,
mumbling quiet thanks as they took their food,
and moved toward the crowded tables.
I began to slightly relax my tense shoulders,
hoping desperately that Aaron was still at the lumber yard,
or simply at a different shelter across town,
and that we would escape this terrifying ordeal,
completely unscathed.
But then the main doors opened again,
letting in a blast of freezing wind,
and a new group of men shuffled slowly inside,
stomping the snow off their heavy boots.
I saw him immediately,
standing near the back of the small group,
his head down,
his hands tucked deep into his pockets,
and his shoulders hunched against the bitter cold.
Panic exploded in my chest like a bomb,
and my breath completely abandoned my lungs,
as I realized he was only fifty feet away,
and slowly shuffling toward the serving line,
where his mother stood smiling brightly.
I had to distract her,
I had to get her out of the room instantly,
before he looked up and saw her face.
Diane,
I said loudly,
grabbing her arm a bit too roughly,
making her jump in complete surprise.
I feel terribly dizzy,
I lied with absolute,
and complete desperation,
I think I am going to pass out,
I need some fresh air immediately.
She dropped her plastic serving tongs,
her eyes widening in pure alarm,
and she reached out to support my arm,
completely forgetting about the long line of people.
Oh my god,
she gasped quickly,
you look completely pale,
let's get you to the back office,
and find you a chair to sit down.
I leaned heavily against her small frame,
pretending to be incredibly weak,
and I let her guide me quickly away from the serving line,
rushing toward the private staff rooms in the back.
As we turned the corner,
I risked one last,
and terrified glance over my shoulder,
looking back at the long line of hungry men.
Aaron had reached the front of the line,
and he was looking directly at the empty spot,
where Diane had been standing just seconds before.
He looked confused for a brief moment,
but then the next volunteer stepped up,
handing him a bowl of hot soup,
and he shuffled away,
May you like
completely unaware of how close he had just come,
to destroying our fragile world entirely.
