Chapter 19
The next morning broke with a bitter frost,
covering the green lawn in a layer of sparkling white,
and freezing the small puddles in the driveway,
into solid sheets of dangerous ice.
Diane woke up early with a sudden burst of energy,
announcing a major change in her charity plans,
while we drank our hot coffee in the kitchen.
I am going to the downtown homeless shelter today,
she stated firmly,
setting her warm mug on the wooden table.
They have a massive shortage of volunteers,
and they desperately need hot food for the incoming crowds,
so I am taking all the bread we baked yesterday,
and I am going to serve lunch.
My heart stopped completely in my chest,
and a cold wave of pure terror washed over me,
freezing my blood instantly.
The downtown shelter was exactly where the day laborers went,
when the weather became too freezing to survive outside,
and the chances of Aaron being there,
were incredibly,
and terrifyingly high.
You cannot go there,
I blurted out quickly,
my voice sounding far too loud,
and far too panicked in the quiet kitchen.
It is dangerous, Diane,
it is not a safe environment for you,
and you could get terribly sick from the crowds.
She looked at me with deep surprise,
her eyebrows knitting together in gentle confusion,
and she placed a warm hand on my cold arm.
I have been there before,
she reminded me softly,
the security is perfectly fine,
and these people just need a warm meal,
and a tiny bit of human kindness.
I will write them a massive check,
I offered desperately,
I will donate ten thousand dollars right now,
just let them hire professional staff,
and please stay home today.
She shook her head slowly,
a look of quiet determination settling on her face,
a stubbornness that I had always admired,
but now completely dreaded.
Money is not the same as showing up,
she said gently but firmly,
I need to do this with my own two hands,
it gives me a sense of true purpose,
and I am not going to change my mind.
I knew it was absolutely pointless to argue,
when she used that specific tone of voice,
and my mind raced frantically,
trying to find a way to prevent a disaster.
Then I am coming with you,
I declared instantly,
standing up from the wooden chair.
I will cancel all my morning meetings,
and I will help you serve the food,
but I am not letting you go down there alone.
She smiled brightly,
clearly touched by my sudden,
and unexpected willingness to volunteer,
and she kissed me sweetly on the lips.
That is wonderful,
she beamed happily,
we make a great team,
and it will be a wonderful experience for us both.
I forced a weak,
and entirely fake smile in return,
while inside my stomach churned violently,
knowing I was walking straight into a minefield,
and dragging my innocent wife right along with me.
I went upstairs to change into casual clothes,
my hands shaking slightly as I buttoned my shirt,
May you like
preparing myself for the most stressful day,
of my entire long life.
