Chapter 2 - The Letter I Never Received
Lucas did not call his mother immediately.
That surprised me.
The old Lucas would have.
He would have attacked the problem the instant it appeared, as if speed could substitute for judgment.
Instead, he stood in the middle of his silent living room and stared at his phone for several seconds.
Then he lowered it.
"The kids are asleep."
"Yes."
"I'm not bringing Victoria into this house tonight."
I laughed once, without humor.
"That might be the first smart thing you've done since we landed."
His eyes flashed.
"There she is."
"Who?"
"The woman who used to tell me exactly what she thought."
"I stopped because you stopped listening."
The words landed harder than I meant them to.
Lucas looked away.
Outside, snow pressed against the tall windows.
For a moment, the townhouse felt like our old apartment again.
Two people standing in the same room with three years of unfinished sentences between them.
Lucas walked to a cabinet and pulled out two glasses.
Then he stopped.
"You still don't drink when you're angry."
"No."
He put the glasses away.
That tiny memory hurt.
"I have tea."
"Fine."
He made it himself.
Not a housekeeper.
Not an assistant.
Lucas Vale, whose company employed more than fourteen thousand people, stood at a marble counter boiling water while I watched.
His hands shook once when he opened a tea packet.
"You're angry with me," I said.
He didn't look up.
"I am."
"You have every right."
"I don't know what my rights are yet."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know."
He brought the mugs to the table.
Neither of us drank.
He sat across from me.
"Did you ever try again?"
I knew exactly what he meant.
"No."
His jaw tightened.
"I thought about it."
"That isn't the same."
"I know."
"Did you ever type the words?"
"Yes."
"Did you ever send them?"
"No."
He nodded as if each answer was evidence in a case against me.
I hated him for making me feel defensive.
I hated myself because he deserved answers.
"I saw the photographs from Singapore," I said. "You were surrounded by investors. Champagne. Headlines about the acquisition. Everyone was calling you the next great American founder. You looked..."
"What?"
"Happy."
Lucas leaned back.
"I was drunk."
"I didn't know that."
"I had slept three hours in two days."
"I didn't know that either."
"I went back to the hotel and threw up in a sink."
"Lucas."
"My point is that photographs lie."
"I know that now."
"No, Mara. You knew it then. You chose to believe the version that made leaving easier."
I stood.
"That is not fair."
"Neither was missing their first words."
His voice stayed low.
That made it worse.
"Neither was missing their first birthdays. Neither was not knowing that my son exists while he learns to walk. Neither was having my daughter look at me today with my father's eyes and realizing I have lost almost three years I can't buy back."
"I was scared."
"So was I."
"You were a billionaire."
"I was a man whose entire life had just exploded."
"You chose that explosion."
"I chose the company."
"Exactly."
He pushed away from the table.
"And you decided that meant I would choose it over my children."
"Wouldn't you have?"
The question silenced him.
That was the truth between us.
Not what he would choose now.
What he might have chosen then.
Three years earlier, Vale Systems had been weeks from the deal that would define Lucas's future.
He had missed my birthday dinner because of a financing call.
He had slept at the office four nights in one week.
He had once told me, "I just need six more months," after already saying it for two years.
I had loved him.
I had stopped trusting his promises.
Lucas stared at me for a long time.
Then he sat back down.
"I don't know."
That answer hurt more than a lie.
He rubbed both hands over his face.
"I want to say I would have dropped everything. Maybe I would have. Maybe I would have tried to do both and failed at both. I don't know who I would have been."
"That's why I was afraid."
"I understand why you were afraid."
I looked at him.
"But I do not understand why you decided alone."
There it was.
The part I could not defend.
I lowered my eyes.
"I was wrong."
He inhaled.
"I need to hear you say it again."
"I was wrong not to tell you."
His eyes closed briefly.
"Thank you."
The baby monitor app on my phone made a soft sound.
Theo turning over.
Both of us looked toward the ceiling.
Lucas whispered, "Do they know anything about me?"
"No."
"Nothing?"
"They know some families have dads and some don't. They know I loved someone before they were born."
"Do they know my name?"
"No."
He nodded slowly.
"Good."
That surprised me.
"Good?"
"I don't want them learning who I am from a search engine."
He glanced toward the stairs.
"I want them learning who I am from me."
The next morning was Christmas.
Theo woke at 5:52.
He found Lucas in the kitchen at 6:03.
I know because I heard Theo yell, "Airplane man!"
I ran downstairs wearing borrowed sweatpants and one sock.
Lucas was standing at the stove.
There was pancake batter on his shirt.
Theo was sitting on a barstool.
Ivy was dragging her rabbit behind her.
For one impossible second, I was twenty-six again.
Sunday morning.
Tiny apartment.
Lucas burning breakfast.
Then Theo pointed to the pan.
"That's black."
Lucas looked offended.
"It's caramelized."
"It's burned."
Ivy climbed onto the next stool.
"It's burned."
I covered my mouth.
Lucas looked at me.
"Your children are ruthless."
"Our children."
The words came out before I could stop them.
Everything in the room went quiet.
Lucas stared at me.
Theo stared at the pancakes.
Ivy yawned.
Then Lucas turned back to the stove.
"Our children," he repeated softly.
He threw the burned pancake away.
The second batch was edible.
At seven thirty, Lucas gave the twins two gift bags.
I frowned.
"Where did those come from?"
"One of my people found an open pharmacy."
"At six in the morning on Christmas?"
"Apparently billionaires are useful in emergencies."
Inside Theo's bag was a plastic dinosaur set.
Inside Ivy's was a children's watercolor kit and a stuffed fox.
They were simple gifts.
Not tablets.
Not designer clothes.
Not anything outrageous.
I looked at Lucas.
"Thank you."
He shrugged.
"I had no idea what three-year-olds like."
"The dinosaur was a safe guess."
Theo roared from beneath the table.
Lucas smiled.
For an hour, I forgot how complicated everything was.
Then Lucas's phone rang.
He looked at the name.
His smile disappeared.
"Victoria."
My body tightened.
He rejected the call.
It rang again.
He rejected it again.
A message appeared.
Whatever it said changed his expression.
"What?"
He turned the phone toward me.
Merry Christmas. I assume the children are with you. Call me before you make a mistake.
My blood went cold.
Lucas reread the message.
Then he looked at me.
"Did you tell anyone last night?"
"June knows you're here."
"Would she tell my mother?"
"No."
"My driver didn't know who the children were."
"Lucas."
He was already calling.
Victoria answered on the second ring.
"Finally."
Lucas put the phone on speaker.
His voice went flat.
"How do you know there are children?"
Silence.
Then Victoria Vale said, "Lucas, this conversation should be private."
"It is private."
"You're emotional."
"How do you know there are children?"
Another silence.
I watched his face harden.
Victoria sighed.
"Because I am not blind."
Lucas stood.
"Try again."
"People talk."
"No one had time to talk."
"Then perhaps your security team—"
"How many?"
She stopped.
Lucas said it quietly.
"How many children, Mother?"
"Lucas."
"How many?"
A pause.
Then Victoria said, "Two."
Theo roared from the living room.
Ivy laughed.
Lucas's eyes met mine.
He looked sick.
"How long have you known?"
Victoria's answer came barely above a whisper.
"Long enough to know that nothing good will come from you handling this while you're angry."
Lucas ended the call.
He stood completely motionless.
Then he opened his contacts and called someone else.
"Ben."
A sleepy male voice answered.
"Lucas? Merry Christmas."
"I need the archive copy of every personal-security report from May three years ago through February the following year."
A pause.
"That's thousands of files."
"Search Mara Ellis."
The silence on the other end changed.
"Lucas..."
"Now, Ben."
I stepped closer.
"What is it?"
Lucas lowered the phone slowly.
Ben had not disconnected.
I could hear keyboard clicks.
Then Ben said, "I found a restricted folder."
Lucas closed his eyes.
"Who created it?"
"Executive security."
"Authorization?"
Another pause.
"Victoria Vale."
My hand went to the back of a chair.
Lucas whispered, "Open it."
Ben did.
He did not speak for almost thirty seconds.
When he finally did, his voice was no longer sleepy.
"Lucas, there are photographs."
Lucas stared at nothing.
"Of what?"
Ben swallowed audibly.
"Of Mara."
I stopped breathing.
"And?"
"An obstetric clinic."
Lucas's hand clenched around the phone.
Ben continued.
"There's another set from January."
"January what?"
"The fourteenth."
The twins' birthday.
I backed away from the table.
"No."
Lucas turned toward me.
Ben's voice broke through the speaker.
"Lucas, your mother didn't find out last night."
May you like
He hesitated.
"She knew before they were born."
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