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Chapter 1 - The Empty Crib

Seventeen days after giving birth to our daughter, I discovered my husband had booked a one-way flight to Lisbon with his mistress.

Colton Beckett wasn't simply a wealthy Atlanta businessman whose photograph appeared in charity magazines and beside articles about commercial development.

He was one of the most feared men in Georgia’s criminal underworld.

He could locate almost anyone with a single phone call.

Men twice his age lowered their voices when he entered a room.

Business owners who had never met him knew his name.

People who hated him still understood one rule.

You did not threaten Colton Beckett’s family.

And yet somehow, seventeen days after I gave birth to his daughter, the person who hurt me most was Colton himself.

My name is Lauren Beckett.

Until that morning, I believed my husband loved our little family.

Our daughter, Ren, had been alive for exactly seventeen days.

I knew because I had counted every one of them.

Seventeen mornings of waking terrified because she had slept longer than expected.

Seventeen nights of checking whether her tiny chest was still moving.

Seventeen days of learning that motherhood was made of contradictions no one prepared you for.

Exhaustion and wonder.

Fear and love.

Pain and gratitude.

Sometimes all within the same minute.

I'd spent thirty-one hours in labor.

My stitches still hurt when I climbed stairs.

My back ached.

My breasts hurt.

I'd barely slept nine hours in three days.

I cried over things that wouldn't normally have bothered me. A dropped bottle. Cold coffee. A commercial about fathers and daughters.

But every time I looked at Ren's tiny face, I believed everything we'd endured had been worth it.

Colton had cried when she was born.

Actually cried.

Not the controlled shine in his eyes I'd seen at funerals.

Not the hard blink of a man refusing to show weakness.

Tears had run openly down his face when the nurse placed Ren against my chest.

“She has your mouth,” he whispered.

“She looks like a potato.”

He laughed while crying.

“Our potato.”

Those two words had made me love him more.

He built her crib himself even though we could have paid someone to assemble an entire nursery.

He spent three weeks researching infant car seats.

He ordered four different mattresses because he kept finding something wrong with the reviews.

During labor, he sat beside me for thirty-one hours, holding my hand while I cursed him, medicine, gravity, every nurse in Atlanta, and once, inexplicably, the inventor of hospital socks.

He never complained.

When I said I couldn't keep going, he pressed his forehead against mine.

“You're the strongest woman I know.”

I believed him.

That's what made the betrayal unbearable.

That morning, I was looking for our insurance card.

Ren had a lactation appointment the following day because she was struggling to latch properly, and I needed the paperwork.

Colton kept every important document in his home office.

I'd complained about it a hundred times.

“Normal husbands use a filing cabinet,” I'd told him.

“I have a filing cabinet.”

“You have three safes and a retinal scanner.”

“Atlanta has gotten dangerous.”

“You are one of the reasons Atlanta is dangerous.”

He had kissed my forehead.

“Exactly.”

Remembering that joke while standing in his office nearly destroyed me.

I opened the second drawer of his desk.

Insurance documents weren't there.

I checked the third.

Nothing.

Then I saw the cream-colored envelope beneath a stack of contracts.

It looked expensive.

Everything in Colton's world looked expensive.

The flap was only halfway tucked inside.

When I moved it, a sheet of heavy paper slid onto the desk.

At first, I didn't understand what I was looking at.

Then I saw the airline logo.

Two passenger names.

COLTON BECKETT.

JADE FORESIGHT.

Business class.

Atlanta to Lisbon.

Departure in eleven days.

One-way.

No return reservation.

My hands went numb.

I stared at Jade's name until the letters stopped looking real.

Jade.

The woman whose name had appeared on Colton's phone at 12:43 in the morning.

The European expansion consultant.

The woman he said understood shipping regulations in Portugal.

The woman responsible for his sudden interest in “international restructuring.”

The woman whose messages he began answering outside.

The reason his phone had started lying facedown during dinner.

The reason he changed his password after using the same one for four years.

I had asked him once.

“Is something happening between you and Jade?”

Colton had looked directly into my eyes.

“No.”

One word.

No hesitation.

No explanation.

That should have comforted me.

Instead it made me feel embarrassed for asking.

I'd been thirty-five weeks pregnant then.

My ankles were swollen.

I had heartburn so bad I slept sitting upright.

I remember telling myself I was hormonal.

Paranoid.

Insecure.

I hated myself for suspecting him.

Now the proof was lying beneath my fingers.

I photographed the reservation.

Then I read it again.

And again.

There had to be another explanation.

Separate hotel rooms.

A negotiation.

An acquisition.

An emergency.

Maybe Jade just happened to be traveling to Lisbon on the same day.

But people do not accidentally appear together on the same private booking.

And they certainly don't accidentally buy one-way tickets eleven days before a man's newborn daughter turns one month old.

My stomach turned.

There was a second sheet.

Accommodation.

A private residence in Estoril, outside Lisbon.

One master suite.

One guest bedroom.

Thirty-day minimum lease.

My knees almost gave out.

I sat in Colton's chair.

The room smelled like cedar, coffee, and him.

I remembered sitting on this desk three years earlier while he kissed me and promised he would never make me regret marrying him.

I remembered him touching my stomach when Ren kicked for the first time.

I remembered the night he'd ordered chicken soup from three restaurants because I couldn't decide which kind I wanted.

A thousand loving moments collided with one airline reservation.

For six months, I had tried to convince myself I was imagining things.

Now I knew I hadn't imagined anything.

I returned both sheets to the envelope.

Then stopped.

I pulled them halfway back out.

I left the envelope open on the center of his desk.

I wanted him to see it immediately.

I wanted him to understand exactly why his house was empty.

I walked upstairs.

Ren was sleeping in her crib with her tiny fists curled beside her cheeks.

Sunlight passed through the white curtains Colton had selected because he'd read newborns needed indirect light.

I stood above our daughter and imagined all the excuses he could give me.

It's business.

Separate rooms.

Jade needed protection.

I was going to tell you.

You're exhausted.

You're misunderstanding this.

I knew his voice.

I knew how convincing he could be.

Colton negotiated with killers, politicians, bankers, attorneys, and men who would lie while holding a gun.

He knew how to control a conversation.

I was seventeen days postpartum.

Exhausted.

Bleeding.

Hurting.

Terrified.

And still desperately in love with him.

If I waited for Colton to come home, I knew there was a chance he would make me doubt what I'd seen.

So I made the decision before he could change my mind.

I packed diapers.

Formula.

Bottles.

Two baby sleepers.

My medication.

Ren's birth certificate.

My breast pump.

A thermometer.

Three pacifiers even though Ren hated pacifiers.

And enough clothes for myself to survive several days.

My wedding ring stayed on my finger.

I don't know why.

Maybe taking it off would have made everything too final.

I left every piece of jewelry Colton had bought me.

Our wedding photographs.

Designer handbags.

My grandmother's china.

Even the stuffed rabbit Colton had chosen for Ren.

That rabbit nearly stopped me.

He had bought it four months before she was born.

He'd stood in the nursery holding it awkwardly.

“Do babies like rabbits?”

“I don't think babies have strong opinions about species.”

“She'll like this one.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I do.”

I'd laughed.

Now the rabbit sat beneath the window while I carried Ren away from her father.

At 11:47 a.m., I walked through the front door.

The security guard at the gate looked surprised.

“Mrs. Beckett?”

“I'm going to Priya's.”

“Should I tell Mr. Beckett?”

“No.”

He hesitated.

Everyone in Colton's world hesitated when asked to keep something from him.

“Ma'am—”

“Do not call my husband.”

Something in my voice worked.

The gate opened.

I drove away without looking back.

Twenty miles away, my best friend Priya Raman opened her front door before I could finish knocking.

Priya had known me since college.

She was an internal medicine physician who could handle blood, grief, emergencies, and angry hospital administrators without blinking.

One look at me frightened her.

“What happened?”

“I need your guest room.”

She glanced at Ren's carrier.

“How long?”

“I don't know.”

Priya stepped aside immediately.

“Then stay as long as you need.”

That kindness broke me.

I started crying so hard I couldn't explain myself.

Priya took Ren's diaper bag from my shoulder.

“Sit down.”

“I found a ticket.”

Her face tightened.

“What ticket?”

“Portugal.”

“With Jade?”

The fact that she guessed made everything worse.

I nodded.

“One-way.”

Priya closed her eyes.

“Oh, Lauren.”

“You knew something was wrong.”

“I suspected.”

“You should have told me.”

“I asked you twice if you wanted me to say what I thought.”

“I kept defending him.”

“You loved your husband.”

“Apparently that made me stupid.”

“No.”

Priya crouched in front of me.

“It made you married.”

My phone started ringing at 6:18 that evening.

COLTON.

I stared at his name.

I imagined our house.

The empty nursery.

The open envelope.

His face when he realized both Ren and I were gone.

I let the call stop.

Thirty seconds later, it rang again.

Then again.

By seven o'clock, he'd called eleven times.

At 7:13, Tom Beckett called.

Colton's older brother.

I ignored him too.

At 7:20, Colton's attorney called.

At 7:33, someone from his security office called.

By midnight, there had been thirty-two calls.

I answered none of them.

At 1:14 a.m., a message appeared.

Please just tell me Ren is safe.

I hated that message because it sounded like the man I loved.

Not a mafia boss.

Not a liar.

A terrified father.

At 1:32:

I know you found the reservation.

My heart pounded.

At 1:41:

It is not what you think.

I laughed bitterly.

Of course.

There it was.

The sentence every guilty husband somehow believes was invented specifically for him.

Then:

Please let me explain before you do something permanent.

I stared at those words while Ren slept against my chest.

Something permanent.

As if he hadn't bought a one-way ticket out of the country.

As if I were the person destroying our marriage.

I typed three different replies.

Deleted all three.

At 2:03, another message arrived.

I will not come to Priya's house unless you tell me I can.

I froze.

Priya's house.

I hadn't told anyone where I was going except the gate guard.

I looked toward Priya.

“He knows.”

“Of course he knows.”

Fear moved through me.

Priya saw it.

“Do you want me to call the police?”

I almost laughed.

Calling ordinary police because Colton Beckett knew where his wife was felt like complaining about rain during a hurricane.

Before I could answer, Priya's phone began ringing.

She looked at the screen.

Her expression changed.

“Lauren.”

“Is it him?”

She nodded.

“Colton.”

“Don't answer.”

Priya let it ring.

It stopped.

Then immediately started again.

“He'll keep calling.”

“I don't care.”

“Eventually he'll send someone.”

The thought made my skin go cold.

Priya looked at me carefully.

“Do you want me to answer and tell him you're safe?”

I looked down at Ren.

She moved in her sleep, mouth opening slightly.

“Yes.”

Priya answered.

“Colton.”

I couldn't hear his words at first.

Then Priya pressed speaker.

His voice filled the kitchen.

“Is Lauren there?”

“She doesn't want to talk to you.”

“Is my daughter safe?”

“Ren is safe.”

A pause.

A long one.

I heard Colton exhale.

“Thank you.”

His voice cracked slightly.

It nearly undid me.

Then he asked, “Is Lauren physically okay?”

“She's seventeen days postpartum and just discovered her husband bought a one-way ticket to Europe with another woman. Define okay.”

Silence.

Priya had never been afraid of Colton.

That was one reason he disliked arguing with her.

“I need five minutes,” he said.

“No.”

“Priya.”

“No.”

His voice hardened automatically.

“I am speaking to my wife.”

Priya's expression changed.

“You are speaking to me. Lauren doesn't owe you access because you raised your voice.”

Silence again.

Then Colton said something I never expected.

“You're right.”

Priya looked at me.

I looked away.

“Tell Lauren I will not come there tonight,” he said. “No one from my organization will enter your property. I've already told security to keep their distance.”

“Good.”

“But tell her something else.”

“What?”

“The Lisbon ticket was real.”

My heart stopped.

“And Jade and I did have an affair.”

Priya's eyes snapped toward mine.

For half a second the world disappeared.

I had known.

Of course I had known.

But knowing through evidence and hearing your husband confess are different kinds of pain.

Priya lowered the phone slightly.

Colton continued.

“There is more she doesn't know. None of it excuses what I did.”

His voice sounded rough.

“The affair was real. So was the ticket. But Lisbon was not what Lauren thinks it was.”

I couldn't stay silent.

I leaned toward the phone.

“Then what was it?”

Everything stopped.

Even Colton.

“Lauren?”

“You wanted five minutes.”

“Baby—”

“Don't call me that.”

Another silence.

“All right.”

I gripped the edge of Priya's table.

“How long?”

He knew what I meant.

“Lauren—”

“How long were you sleeping with her?”

“Seven weeks.”

My throat closed.

Seven weeks.

I calculated instantly.

He had started betraying me while I was pregnant with his child.

“Seven weeks,” I repeated.

“Yes.”

“Before Ren was born.”

“Yes.”

“While I was thirty-six weeks pregnant.”

His voice became barely audible.

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes.

Priya placed a hand on my shoulder.

“And Lisbon?”

Colton didn't answer immediately.

“Ten days ago, I discovered Jade was stealing information from me.”

I opened my eyes.

“What?”

“She was working with someone inside my organization. The trip was supposed to identify who.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“No.”

That answer surprised me.

“I expect you to believe nothing I say without proof.”

My eyes burned.

“So after discovering your mistress was betraying you, you decided to take her to Portugal.”

“I decided to make her think nothing had changed.”

“By buying her gifts?”

Silence.

I suddenly remembered the security camera app still connected to my phone.

I opened it.

There he was.

Earlier that evening.

Colton entering our house.

Dark suit.

Tired face.

A small shopping bag in his left hand.

He had removed something before walking upstairs.

A pale silk scarf.

My entire body went cold.

“You bought her a scarf.”

Colton stopped breathing.

“I saw the camera.”

“Lauren—”

“You came home carrying a present for the woman you were taking to Lisbon.”

“It was part of maintaining the cover.”

I laughed.

The sound was ugly.

“Do you hear yourself?”

“Yes.”

“No. I don't think you do.”

I stood.

Ren stirred against me.

“You were going to leave me alone with a newborn while you flew to Portugal with the woman you'd been sleeping with, and now you want me to admire the strategy?”

“No.”

“Then what do you want?”

His answer came quietly.

“A chance to tell you the whole truth.”

“You had seven weeks.”

“I know.”

“You had every day of my pregnancy.”

“I know.”

“You had thirty-one hours while I was bringing your daughter into the world.”

His breath caught.

“I know.”

“You held my hand and called me the strongest woman you knew while you were cheating on me.”

He said nothing.

My tears fell.

“That is the part I don't understand, Colton. How did you look at me?”

His voice broke.

“I don't know.”

That answer hurt worse than an excuse.

I wiped my face.

“Do not come here.”

“I won't.”

“Do not send anyone.”

“I won't.”

“Do not use Ren as an excuse to force me back.”

Another pause.

Then:

“I won't.”

“You don't control me anymore.”

“I know.”

I ended the call.

For several seconds, the kitchen remained completely silent.

Then Priya took my phone from my trembling hand.

“You need to sleep.”

“I can't.”

“You need to try.”

I looked down at my daughter.

“What happens now?”

Priya didn't lie to me.

“I don't know.”

Neither did I.

But twenty miles away, inside the house we'd built together, Colton Beckett sat alone at his desk.

The Lisbon reservation remained in the open envelope.

The silk scarf he'd bought for Jade was lying on the floor.

Ren's crib was empty.

My closet door stood open.

And for the first time in years, the most powerful man in Atlanta had encountered something he could not threaten, purchase, negotiate, or command back into his hands.

May you like

His wife had left him.

And the following morning, I was going to make sure he understood I wasn't simply waiting to be convinced to return.

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