Chapter 1 - The Child He Didn't Know He Was Losing

Adrian Romano had frightened powerful men without raising his voice.
He had made armed enemies retreat from negotiations with nothing more than a glance.
He had built an empire in Chicago where loyalty was expensive, betrayal was dangerous, and nobody questioned his decisions twice.
But standing in our bedroom, looking at my suitcase and my barely noticeable pregnancy, my husband seemed incapable of forming a complete sentence.
"Ten weeks?" he repeated.
"Tomorrow."
"And you knew?"
"Eighteen days."
His jaw tightened.
For one terrible second, I saw the familiar expression he wore when something happened beyond his control.
It was the expression that made other men apologize before they even understood what they had done.
But I wasn't one of his employees.
And the child growing inside me wasn't another part of the Romano empire he could claim simply because he wanted it.
"I tried to tell you," I said.
Adrian looked toward the open suitcase.
A pair of my jeans lay folded beside a cream-colored sweater.
My passport rested on the dresser.
My wedding photographs were still hanging above the bed.
"Why are you packing?"
I almost laughed.
Twenty-four hours earlier, he had walked into our kitchen and ended eight years of marriage.
Now he was asking why I was leaving.
"Because we're getting divorced, Adrian."
"No."
The word came immediately.
I stopped folding.
"No?"
"We need to discuss this."
"We discussed it yesterday."
"That was before—"
He stopped himself.
"Before you discovered I was pregnant?"
His silence was answer enough.
I zipped the small compartment of my suitcase.
"That doesn't change what happened."
"It changes everything."
"Not for me."
Adrian crossed the room.
He was forty-one, broad-shouldered, with dark hair cut short and a tattoo disappearing beneath the sleeve of his charcoal shirt.
A white scar crossed his left eyebrow.
Another ran along the inside of his wrist.
I knew both stories.
I knew almost everything about the man standing before me.
Or at least I had believed I did.
"Elena," he said, lowering his voice, "you're carrying my child."
"I know."
"Then you can't just walk out."
Something inside me went very still.
"Watch your next sentence carefully."
He stopped.
For eight years, Adrian had been accustomed to giving instructions and watching people follow them.
I had never minded making our home peaceful.
But peace was not obedience.
And love was not ownership.
"I didn't mean it that way," he said.
"Then what did you mean?"
He ran a hand over his face.
"I meant you're pregnant. You need stability. Doctors. Security. Everything you're accustomed to."
"I have doctors. I have savings. And I have an attorney."
"You also have a husband."
I looked directly into his eyes.
"Yesterday, you told me you didn't want that job anymore."
The words struck harder than I expected.
Adrian looked away.
His gaze landed on the small white box sitting inside my open purse.
He reached for it.
I almost stopped him.
But there was no point protecting the surprise anymore.
Inside were two tiny white socks.
One had a little yellow star stitched near the ankle.
The other had a matching moon.
Beneath them lay the ultrasound photograph I had planned to show him at dinner.
He lifted it carefully.
His expression changed.
I watched him study the grainy image.
The small shape.
The date.
The printed medical information.
He swallowed.
"That's our baby?"
"Yes."
He sat down on the edge of the bed.
For a long moment, he didn't move.
Then he pressed his thumb against the edge of the photograph.
"I missed this."
"Yes, you did."
"Was I supposed to be there?"
I didn't answer immediately.
Because the truth was complicated.
I had scheduled the first appointment alone.
Not because I didn't want him beside me.
Because for weeks, he had been impossible to reach.
Even when he was physically home, his mind belonged somewhere else.
To business.
To Bianca.
To whatever excuse kept him from looking at me long enough to notice I was disappearing.
"I wanted you there," I finally said.
Adrian closed his eyes.
Then his phone rang.
The screen illuminated beside him.
BIANCA DELUCA.
I saw the name before he turned the phone over.
Something ugly passed through my chest.
Not jealousy anymore.
Exhaustion.
"Answer her," I said.
He silenced the call.
"Elena—"
"She probably thinks you belong to her now."
"Not now."
"Why not?"
"Because we need to deal with us."
I shook my head.
"There's no 'us' left to deal with."
He stood abruptly.
"I made a mistake."
"You made a decision."
"People make decisions they regret."
"Of course they do."
I reached past him for my coat.
"But regret doesn't erase consequences."
He stepped aside.
At least he still remembered how to do that.
Downstairs, the house was quiet.
Our housekeeper, Margaret, had taken the afternoon off.
The kitchen smelled faintly of coffee.
On the counter sat the medication organizer I'd filled the night before.
Adrian's Thursday compartment remained untouched.
He noticed it too.
For a strange moment, both of us stared at that little plastic box.
Then he said, "Have you taken your vitamins?"
I looked at him.
"What?"
"Prenatal vitamins. The doctor must have given you something."
"Yes."
"Are you eating properly?"
"Yes."
"Do you need another specialist?"
"Adrian."
He stopped.
"You don't get to become a caring husband by asking three questions."
He looked as though I had slapped him.
And perhaps that was unfair.
I had loved him for eight years.
A part of me still did.
But that was precisely why I needed to leave before my love became another excuse to forgive something that should never have happened.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Somewhere safe."
"Give me the address."
"No."
"Elena, I have enemies."
"I know."
His expression changed.
He understood what I meant before I continued.
"That's one of the reasons Rachel is requesting primary custody and sole decision-making authority."
"You're trying to take my child away."
"No. I'm trying to keep our child out of a life where security briefings interrupt breakfast and men sometimes arrive with blood on their sleeves."
"Nothing will happen to either of you."
"You cannot promise that."
His silence lasted several seconds.
Because we both remembered the winter three years earlier when someone fired into Adrian's armored SUV outside a restaurant.
He had survived.
His driver had spent six weeks in intensive care.
And I had spent the night sitting beside Adrian's hospital bed while two armed guards stood outside the door.
That was the Romano life.
Expensive walls.
Beautiful rooms.
And danger that could arrive without warning.
"I'll change whatever you want," he said.
I studied him.
"Did you say that yesterday?"
He looked down.
"No."
"Then don't say it now because you've discovered something you might lose."
I carried my suitcase toward the front door.
Adrian followed but didn't touch me.
Outside, a gray sedan was waiting.
Rachel Stein stood beside it wearing a navy coat, her expression professionally calm.
She had been my attorney for less than twenty-four hours.
Already, I trusted her more than I trusted my husband.
Adrian stopped in the doorway.
"Rachel."
"Mr. Romano."
"You're taking my wife somewhere without telling me?"
"Mrs. Romano is free to decide where she stays."
His jaw flexed.
"I want to discuss custody."
Rachel didn't flinch.
"Then we can arrange a conversation between counsel. I should clarify that the pregnancy does not create an immediate custody order. Parenting arrangements will be addressed through the appropriate legal process after the child is born."
"I want to be there."
"That is something you and Elena will need to discuss."
Adrian looked past her toward me.
"Please."
One word.
Quiet.
Almost unfamiliar.
I had heard him command men with terrifying certainty.
I had almost never heard him ask for anything.
But I wasn't ready to reward him for finally discovering the word.
"I'll contact you through Rachel," I said.
Then I got into the car.
As we drove away, I looked through the rear window.
Adrian remained on the front steps.
He was still holding the ultrasound photograph.
And for the first time since I had met him, he looked like a man who had no idea what to do next.
Rachel drove toward the North Side while I sat beside her with my hands folded over my stomach.
The city moved around us.
Traffic lights changed.
Buses passed.
People hurried through the afternoon with shopping bags and coffee cups.
Life continued.
It seemed almost insulting.
"You did well," Rachel said.
"I almost cried."
"That wouldn't have made you weak."
"I know."
But I didn't want to cry in front of Adrian.
Not because he wasn't allowed to see my pain.
Because he had spent months overlooking it.
I wasn't going to perform my heartbreak now that it inconvenienced him.
Rachel glanced at me.
"There's something I need to explain carefully."
I turned toward her.
"Custody?"
"Yes. We can ask for the child to reside primarily with you and for you to have sole authority over major decisions. But a court will want evidence, not just fear, before restricting Adrian's parenting time."
"I understand."
"His reputation alone may not be enough."
"I have more than reputation."
Rachel waited.
I thought about the gunshots.
The armed men.
The security procedures.
The nights Adrian came home with bruised knuckles and said nothing about them.
Then I remembered something worse.
Six months earlier, a stranger had followed me through a grocery store.
When I told Adrian, he had doubled my security for two weeks.
He never explained who the stranger was.
Only that the matter had been handled.
I told Rachel.
She grew serious.
"Did anyone make a report?"
"Adrian's security team did."
"Can we obtain it?"
"I don't know."
"Then we'll start with what you have."
She hesitated.
"And Elena? Please don't assume you'll need to fight everything alone."
I looked out the window.
For eight years, I had protected Adrian from ordinary problems.
Now I would have to learn how to protect myself.
Perhaps that was the real beginning of my new life.
Rachel had arranged a furnished apartment in Ravenswood through an acquaintance.
It was smaller than the Romano mansion.
Two bedrooms.
A narrow kitchen.
A balcony overlooking a quiet residential street.
The living room had pale walls and a bookshelf filled with novels I hadn't chosen.
I loved it immediately.
Nobody had installed cameras in every hallway.
Nobody stood outside the doors with a radio.
Nobody asked permission before entering the kitchen.
I placed my suitcase beside the bedroom and opened the balcony door.
Cold Chicago air rushed inside.
I breathed deeply.
Rachel set a folder on the dining table.
"Temporary arrangements," she said. "Your medical records, the pregnancy confirmation, and copies of your financial information. We'll establish separate communication and make sure your appointments stay private."
"Thank you."
She touched my shoulder.
"Call if he shows up."
"He won't."
Rachel gave me a look.
I sighed.
"All right. He might."
"Men who are accustomed to control sometimes struggle when they discover a boundary is real."
After she left, I made myself a cheese sandwich.
I ate it standing at the kitchen counter.
Then I unpacked.
My clothes occupied only half the closet.
My makeup fit into one drawer.
The entire apartment felt almost strangely empty.
At six-thirty, my phone rang.
Adrian.
I let it go to voicemail.
He called again.
And again.
Then a message arrived.
ADRIAN: I need to know you're safe.
I stared at the screen.
Finally, I replied.
ELENA: I am safe. Please communicate through Rachel unless there is a genuine emergency.
His response appeared immediately.
ADRIAN: I want to come to the next appointment.
I didn't answer.
Five minutes later:
ADRIAN: I know I don't deserve to ask.
I placed the phone facedown.
For the first time in years, I ate dinner without listening for the sound of his car.
At nine, I took my prenatal vitamin.
At ten, I climbed into bed.
And at eleven-forty-three, someone knocked on my apartment door.
Three quiet knocks.
I froze.
Rachel hadn't mentioned anyone visiting.
I approached cautiously and looked through the peephole.
A woman stood in the hallway wearing a cream-colored coat and carrying a leather handbag.
Bianca DeLuca.
My husband's mistress.
She was looking directly at the peephole.
Then she smiled.
May you like
"Hello, Elena," she said.
"I think we should talk about your baby."