Chapter 1 - His Name Was Andrew
“His name is Andrew.”
Lauren said it so calmly that for a few seconds, I couldn't understand what I had just heard.
I stared at her across the kitchen table.
“Andrew who?”
She looked down at her hands.
“Andrew Bennett.”
I waited.
She didn't continue.
“Who is he?”
“My friend.”
I almost laughed.
Not because anything was funny.
Because the word sounded ridiculous coming from her.
“Your friend?”
“Yes.”
“The man holding your hand?”
“Yes.”
My jaw tightened.
“Do you love him?”
Lauren finally looked at me.
There was something in her eyes that I had never seen before.
Not fear.
Not guilt.
Something closer to exhaustion.
“I don't know.”
That answer hurt more than a confession would have.
I leaned back.
“So there is something between you.”
“There is.”
My heart began pounding.
“How long?”
Lauren was silent.
“How long, Lauren?”
“Eight months.”
Eight months.
I stared at the woman sitting across from me.
Eight months.
I had spent years cheating on her.
And somehow, hearing that number made me feel physically sick.
“Have you slept with him?”
Lauren closed her eyes.
“No.”
I exhaled.
Relief.
Then she added,
“Not because I didn't think about it.”
The relief disappeared.
I stood.
“You've been seeing another man for eight months.”
“Yes.”
“And you expect me to sit here calmly?”
“No.”
“What exactly were you planning to do?”
She looked at me.
“I wasn't planning anything.”
“Then why?”
Her voice became softer.
“Because I was lonely.”
That word stopped me.
Lonely.
I wanted to argue.
I wanted to tell her that she had a husband.
Two children.
A home.
A family.
Then I remembered the hotel rooms.
The women.
The lies.
And I realized how absurd those arguments would sound.
Lauren continued.
“You stopped seeing me a long time ago, James.”
“I was here.”
“Your body was.”
I looked away.
“You came home every night.”
“Yes.”
“You paid the bills.”
“Yes.”
“You took the kids to soccer.”
“Yes.”
“You bought me a birthday present every year.”
“Yes.”
She nodded.
“And none of those things made me feel loved.”
I couldn't answer.
She wiped a tear from her cheek.
“I wasn't looking for another husband.”
“Then what were you looking for?”
“Someone who listened.”
I thought about Andrew holding her hand.
The way he had looked at her.
The way she had smiled.
It suddenly made sense.
“How did you meet him?”
“At the hospital.”
I frowned.
“What hospital?”
“Our daughter's hospital.”
I froze.
“Emily?”
Lauren nodded.
“Last year, when she had that asthma attack.”
I remembered.
I had been out of town.
I had told Lauren I couldn't leave because of an important client.
She had taken Emily to the emergency room alone.
Andrew had been the respiratory therapist.
“He stayed after his shift,” Lauren said.
“He helped Emily breathe.”
I closed my eyes.
I remembered calling Lauren that night.
I had asked whether Emily was okay.
She had said yes.
I hadn't asked anything else.
“I didn't know.”
“You didn't ask.”
That sentence cut deeper than anything else.
I sat down again.
“Does Andrew know about me?”
“Yes.”
“Everything?”
“Yes.”
“And he still wants you?”
Lauren nodded.
I felt something inside me collapse.
“Why didn't you leave me?”
She looked at me for a long time.
“Because I wanted you to choose us without being forced.”
“What does that mean?”
“I wanted to see whether you would ever notice that I was disappearing.”
I stared at her.
“I noticed.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“You noticed today because another man touched me.”
I had no answer.
Then Lauren reached into the drawer beside her and pulled out a small envelope.
She placed it on the table.
“What is that?”
“Something I was going to give you next month.”
I opened it.
Inside was a letter.
My name was written on the front.
I unfolded it.
The first sentence made my stomach twist.
James, I think I am finally ready to leave you.
I looked up.
Lauren was crying silently.
“You were going to divorce me?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“After our anniversary.”
I stared at the calendar.
Our anniversary was six weeks away.
“So Andrew?”
“He isn't why I'm leaving.”
“Then why?”
She looked straight into my eyes.
“Because I finally realized I deserved better.”
Those words destroyed me.
Because for the first time, I understood something terrifying.
May you like
Lauren wasn't asking me to change.
She had already stopped waiting.
